I Quit My "Dream Career" (Not Clickbait!)

What it felt like to leave my career as a speech-language pathologist and start over at 28 years old.

Earlier this week, this post from Emily McDowell made its way into my feed. Please please read it, because it is gold and it is the basis of what I’m talking about today.

Is it dumb to quit something I worked hard to get?

It has been exactly 190 days since I started my new, essentially entry-level, job as an SEO analyst for a healthcare marketing company. At 28 years old¹.

4 years of undergrad, 2 years of grad school, and 4 years working as an SLP. That’s a decade of my life that I devoted to speech-language pathology. It has been almost a year since I have worked as an SLP.

my last first day of school as an SLP

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I know most people would think quitting is taking the easy way out. But I am a firm believer (now especially) that quitting takes courage. It’s so easy to keep doing The Thing for years and years even if it no longer excites you or makes you happy. Days turn into months turn into years and suddenly you’re past the point where it feels worth it to start again.

It is hard to admit to yourself that the things you were once passionate about aren’t for you anymore. There’s an extra layer of guilt and shame that comes with it, which I had to work through in weeks of therapy².

When I decided I wasn’t renewing my contract, I was terrified to tell people. I was afraid of judgment, of whispers behind my back, of people scoffing “Everyone hates their job, she’s just a baby”. I’m sure some people had some negative things to say about my decision, but everyone that mattered to me was extremely supportive.

In Emily’s post, she shares:

“…“success” requires us to stay beholden to a decision made at some point in the past — sometimes the distant past — by a version of ourselves who had less life experience, less information, and perhaps not a whole lot in common with the person we’ve evolved to become.”

This quote hit me like a ton of bricks and was the reason I felt compelled to write today’s post. The transition out of speech therapy had me asking a lot of questions of myself. I am the Queen of beating myself up, and that’s exactly what I did. Why did I even choose this career in the first place? What was I thinking? How could I not see the signs that this wasn’t what I was passionate about?

But here’s what I’ve realized: a previous version of myself DID want to be an SLP. She wanted to be one so badly! She lived and breathed speech pathology. She was the president of NSSLHA. She cried at the thought of not getting into grad school. She legitimately thought that once she became an SLP, her life would make sense. She would have it all! She truly had no idea what could be better than calling herself an SLP.

Somewhere along the way, I evolved. And I’m not saying this in a pretentious way, either. I seriously am so far removed from the person I was in undergrad and grad school. It’s hard for me to pinpoint what caused this change, but I do know that looking back at her feels pretty foreign. She was insecure and a people pleaser and though I still have those tendencies, I have learned SO much since then.

When I was figuring it all out, I lurked a lot in SLP career transition Facebook groups. And let me tell you, the vibes there are interesting. Some folks will legitimately try to convince you to stay working as an SLP as if their life depends on it. “Try another setting!” they screech. No Melissa³, I do not want a setting change, I want OUT!

It was so disheartening to realize that the only people who understand what you’re going through are also the ones actively trying to convince you to stay. At times I felt like I was insane for wanting to do something else, even when the Facebook group (whose sole purpose was support for those leaving the field of speech pathology) had nearly 20,000 members.

I could write a whole other essay on the toxic positivity that seeps through the profession, and how I never heard anyone say anything negative about this career in undergrad or grad school. It felt like there was some unspoken rule to not share the ugly parts with students or new grads, and as a result, we all stepped into something we were not fully prepared for.

The mental and physical toll being an SLP had on my body and mind cannot be overstated. So I quit. Or, rather, I completed my time as a speech-language pathologist:

In conversations about quitting, failure, and walking away, there’s a word and concept I think is underused: completion.

Unlike all these other terms that come loaded with judgment (our own, other people’s), and the implication that we’ve done something wrong or are lacking in moral fiber, “completion” is neutral. It says “this was a thing, this thing is now over.” It acknowledges that the thing was never meant to last until the end of time. A completed relationship isn’t a “failed” relationship; a completed business venture isn’t a “failed” one. There is infinite value in a completed experience. You can be proud of it AND be done with it.

I am proud of my years as an SLP. I am proud of my degrees and my accomplishments. But that era is now over, and I have moved on to something else.

If you’re looking for a sign, let Emily and I be the encouraging voices in your head letting you know it’s okay to change and grow and let go of the things that no longer serve you.

‘till next time! 💖

1. I understand that 28 is not that old, but when your peers are all new college grads and you are staring 30 in the face, it feels a bit weird NGL.

2. Shout out to Diane! Seriously. I emailed a few therapists during work one day in May 2022 and she got back to me so quickly and scheduled a call with me that SAME DAY. She’s an angel and came into my life when I needed her so badly.

3. Her name isn’t always Melissa, but you get it.